Tips To Increase Self-Esteem And Why It’s A Work In Progress
Do you ever feel that you struggle with your self-esteem and that you take two steps forward and then three steps backward? You’re doing all the right things – reading self-development books, reading emails like this, watching videos, but you just don’t feel like you’re getting far enough ahead?
A healthy sense of self-esteem is a work in progress. I’ve learned that confidence and self-esteem are learned skills that need daily practise for long lasting and sustainable results.
Every time you take a step toward better self-care through increasing your self-awareness, you are building your self-esteem. And science is now showing that your brain responds to better self-care.
Building self-esteem and confidence is a learned skill that you can start today
People with higher self esteem are happier with themselves and with others. The general advice you will find out there is to hang out with people who help you feel lifted, but what if you can’t find them at this point in time?
People with low self esteem become more isolated and tend to be excluded from social gatherings. If this is happening to you, don’t worry about it too much right now. It will eventually sort itself out Sometimes in life there is a time to be alone to do the inner work.
I found these 6 tips to building self esteem very useful and practical. When you have a better relationship with yourself you’ll have a better relationship with others. Know the rules of fear, walk tall as much as possible and understand that love is a feeling that naturally grows through your thoughts and actions every day.
Clikc here to read: 6 Simple Ways To Build Lasting Self-Esteem
Brain Research: Self-esteem is located in a neural pathway which becomes stronger when you focus on the positive aspects of your life
Scientists have identified the area of the brain related to a person’s self-esteem. It is called the frontostriatal pathway, and it connects the medial prefrontal cortex, which deals with self-knowledge, to the ventral striatum, which deals with feelings of motivation and reward.
The stronger and more active this pathway is, the higher the person’s self-esteem. Researchers used MRI scans to show that this neural pathway has a “road” as well as “traffic”, or brain activity on this road. A person with a strong “road” had a higher level of long term self-esteem, whereas someone with more “traffic” had a momentary increase in self-esteem.
In other words, this neural pathway gets bedded down over time and creates a well trodden pathway on which traffic can flow. How does it get bedded down? Interestingly the study also showed that activity was only observed along this pathway when people spoke positively about their lives, not when they spoke negatively.
For me this is suggesting that when we speak positively about ourselves and our lives, we increase the strength of this “road” by providing better quality “traffic”. Therefore we strengthen our self-esteem by focusing on the positive aspects of ourselves and our lives, as the negative does very little to help.
This Is Where Self-Esteem Lives In The Brain
Podcast: The Queen of Confidence – Why Don’t We Love Ourselves?
This particular podcast is for women or for men who’d like to support their women to love themselves more. Melbourne based Queen of Confidence podcaster, Erika Cramer, talks about why anything less than great self-love and self-care is not OK. She discussed why we do what we do, think the way we think and the mind chatter and bad habits that chip away at our self-esteem.
“How kind are we to ourselves and our friends, how do we speak? I used to find myself being triggered by women saying ‘I am a beautiful woman’ and meaning it.”
Listen to the Podcast (23 mins)
Course: UP the Well – 12 Weeks Out Of An Emotional Slump
My course UP the Well: 12 Weeks Out of An Emotional Slump will help you understand more about the way you think and respond to your life’s daily events. When you become more self-aware about the ripple effect of your thoughts and actions, you’ll become more emotionally balanced which improves your self-esteem.
It takes 10 minutes a night and each week has a particular theme starting with “denial” and ending with “acceptance”. Each evening you answer a simple set of five questions and you can return to work on it at your own pace whenever you want to.
The difference between aggressive, assertive and passive styles of communication
This simple worksheet lists the 3 styles of communication – aggressive, assertive and passive – showing the differences in your tone of voice, eye contact and manner. By learning what sort of style you naturally adopt, you may decide to try a different approach in communicating and see what sort of feedback you get.
Music: HALO by Beyoncé
Every time I listen to this song my heart sings. You can take the lyrics any way you want to, from singing them to your lover or to yourself in the mirror. Either way, they are beautiful. If you cry, don’t worry, I cry most times I listen to this song!
We’re all a work in progress. You’re not meant to be anywhere else right now but exactly where you are. Achieving goals and getting to a desired destination is wonderful, but the development of self-esteem and self-confidence can only happen along the way.
That’s why the phrase “it’s about the journey, not the destination” is so true.
The journey out of low self esteem or an emotional slump is not a test of your inner strength and resilience. The journey through is the development of your inner strength, resilience and self-esteem.
With love, Gina Kasmas
#verywellthankyou